Preggo Bellydancing



photographed by Craig Lovell, available for purchase at inmagine.com

It has been my experience, for some reason that a lot of cabaret bellydancers either have one child or no children, and in the Tribal set ( which I had some brief involvement in), the procreation was a little more pronounced, but not by much. This is not a judgement, having children is not for everyone, I am just not sure how many of you will resonate or identify with this post. Either way kids or no kids whether by plan or nature, bellydancing while preggers ROCKS!
     I am sure Aunty Rocky, a walking wealth of knowledge, would have a lot to say on the subject but here are my own reasons that bellydancing for two is the neatest thing ever.

    When a Solo dance becomes a Tango

1. You really feel that life inside you. You know that person on some level, and it is the epitome of "two heads are better than one", only internalized. You are dancing a solo dance, with two people. It is really really cool.

2. As Tempest mentioned in her last post those times as artists when we wait for inspiration can be terrible. I have been accurately described by those who know me as "Fire or Ice", which means that I fluctuate from bursts of passion and inspiration to almost a cold comatose non-emotional state. During the non-emotional state inspiration never ever comes, I look at those times as my recuperation times, but they usually have me chewing my nails waiting for the next burst of inspiration.
    Being preggers there is no "ice" time for me. The inspiration is always there, the creativity is constantly within my reach. It is just like all that " being one with the earth, connected to the Mother" stuff that sounds so hokey but really means something.

3. These movements feel RIGHT on a primal level. Most of us keep dancing because moving our sacral and root chakras in a world when we have little opportunity to do so feels so good. It releases stuff. It focuses on on areas that get little attention in our upper chakras focused world ( AKA brain/throat area). Pregnancy, I guess because there is a PERSON in my sacral chakra right now, makes it a necessity to focus on those two lowest chakras. Moving them feels so amazing. Shimmies feel like a massage. Undulations feel like I am "making something", akin to painting a picture. It really is amazing.

4. Emotions are not far off. I pretty much have two switches....Cry or Kill. I either want to stab everyone, or like my experience in the grocery store an hour ago, cry when people look at me wrong. I am an emotional hot mess. But this being my third child, I have learned not to be afraid of emotions either during pregnancy or outside of it. Emotions can be a wonderful tool in dancing, and they really add fuel to our dance. I have a wealth of fuel, folks. And dancing it out keeps me from wanting to stab everyone.

5. I can tell he likes it. I knew that my first two were girls, and I am pretty sure this one is a boy. Of course I may eat crow at some point, but probably not. :)

I am sure there are a million more positives, but that is good for now. On another note, I saw his little heartbeat yesterday and it was amazing.

Lator gators, gonna go have some peaches and pepperonis. ( for real).

Post From Under the Rock

pic found at bellydanceforbirth.com

I have no patience these days and absolutely no patience for writing. Every time I sit down to do a blog post I say "meh" and go do something else. So I'll condense.

Here's What's Going on in My Little Corner

1. Well, the biggest news is....I'm pregnant! I am very happy and feel very at peace. We have been debating a third child for some time and since this was a surprise, I am guessin this one wants to be here. :) But I already have mom-brain. For those of you who don't have kids that is when during pregnancy and for about 8 months after you are dumb. Putting the remote in the refrigerator and the cheese on the mantel dumb. Hey, my body is making a person. I apparently don't have time to think.

2. They think they got all the cancer in my husband. They took 8 lymph nodes, a large chunk of his arm, ( looks like a shark bite), and a skin graft from his leg ( which surprisingly hurts him the most right now. It doesn't help that the nurses keep calling it the "donor site"....creepy). When he is not on his "happy pills" he is hobbling around, and looks pretty pitiful. The whole thing has been a huge strain,and I am relieved ( knock on wood) that we are on the way to recovery. But the past month and a half has been a blur. The only cool thing is the outpouring of creativity from my family and my husband and I as we come up with awesome stories to explain the large chunk of his arm that is missing. My brother wrote this concerning the wound...

i told garey busey his genetic self-experiments with sharkbearwolf blood would end badly. ......... From that day henceforth the mutated bite wound became self-aware. Later describing itself as "The Singularity". Realizing that non-bite marked humans (what the Singularity would come to emotionally refer to as "fleshy abominations") were at a disadvantage, the singularity set out every full moon to systematically exterminate all "inferior beings". ............also........ you can put M&Ms and shit in there


Yeah, we are all sort of nuts. In a good way. in a fun way.

3. Two kids, and one on the way. Burgeoning writing career. Husband in cancer-recovery. Yeah, it is an understatement to say that bellydance will be on the back burner for a while. Sucks in a way, but not at all in another way. When you have been dancing as long as I have, bellydance never really exits your life, it is such a part. But it shifts....and it is shiftin' again. I have never been one of those people that goes to every workshop, show etc., but now I am goin' to none. It is an adjustment, but I'd say I am o.k. with the trade off.

4. I am having major issues leaving comments on all of my readers blogs. For some reason it will let me do it half of the time. So yeah, I read everyone's blog, and I want to comment. For now I will just have to read your posts and comment in my mind.

5. Bellydancing feels so GOOD on my pregnant body. Just some soft undulations and some small tight shimmies really relieves the back pain I am already feeling. Yay, bellydance!

Lator gators.....

The Happy Drunk Reviews- Opulent Motion with Sarah Skinner

These days I am watching a lot of TV, crying a lot, and using beading ( via Naima's tutorial ) as a way to keep my hands busy. ( at this point I am still just trying to thread the little prissy bitch beading needles). I ordered Opulent Motion-The Artistry of Slow Moves by Sarah Skinner a few weeks ago, and after all the drama died down I felt like watching it. Husband is having surgery next week, so I am sure between caring for him, I will have a lot of down time to bead ( or try to), and reflect on bellydance. This no pressure, slow-focused DVD seems to be about my speed right now.
I told you when I reviewed her Bellydance with Veils that I was a new Sarah Skinner fan. I have her new DVD-The Bellydance Shimmy Workout on pre order and am gonna get the rest of what she owns. Even though I do chuckle at and agree with this quote:

" Beginning dancers prefer to take intermedate level classes,
  Intermediate level dancers prefer to take advanced classes,
  Advanced dancers take private lessons to work on their basics"
- Author Unknown

I still don't really buy beginner DVDs, usually I feel like it is a waste of my time, and frankly, they bore me.  Her new shimmy workout is marketed as a beginner level DVD, I am gonna buy it. Know why? Listen closely, I have figured out the reason that Sarah Skinner's DVDs are so cool.
  Economy of words. She wastes nothing. She doesn't waste a single word. In all of her DVD's including this one, she goes through the movement, not in a rush-but not dragging us all along, then she moves on. Even when she re-explains something it moves quickly.Period. Her DVD's have that sensation of moving fast without seeming rushed. She has a way of perfectly explaining something in a few sentences.
   Something I have learned in teaching my classes is that people aren't stupid. If someone is going to get it, they will get it, and if they aren't they just aren't. If you waste time over-explaining, then you waste everyone's time. MOST DVDs out there move way too slowly for my taste, and spend too much time over-explaining. On both DVDs of Sarah's that I own, she is a wizard at the perfect level of explanation.( ironic,that it took ME so long to explain that, huh?).
    In Opulent Motion I found again, that I "knew" most of what was on there, but couldn't tear myself away from the TV. They way she puts things puts you at ease and opens up your "dancer's ear". ( part body, part brain). The DVD covers a wide range of what is basically Taqsim movements, steps, and modes of expression. This DVD is about dancing SLOW, and pretty much everything Sarah does in this DVD is like savoring a piece of chocolate. In other words, don't watch this after you have downed a Red Bull. You won't get it.
     She goes through the slower rhythms; slow masmoudi, chiftitelli, etc.and manages to teach, and at the same time make you watch what she is doing. There is no, ( insert loud nasal voice) " Now LADIES, this is what you do. FIRST, you put your RIGHT foot to the RIGHT, and then...."....instead she is moving as she talks, and even if she repeats a move there is an ease and flow to it. A damn breath of fresh air, that is what it is.
      I have a theory that most dancers communicate through movement and like the computer programmer whiz that cannot tie his own shoes, most dance teachers are way better at dancing than they are at talking. Rarely do you find someone who is fabulous at communicating through dance and words. They are either o.k. at dance and good at words ( me), or they are o.k. at words and great at dance ( most of the dancers I know). When I find a chick who can do both really well I latch on and don't let go. I suck on that teat with all I've got.
     The other reason to buy this is sheer volume. I think it has, like, 40 something chapters. And at the end she dances several different types of slow dances and the commentary is AMAZING. She takes you through the dance.
      So buy this. Everyone buy it. Advanced, beginner, intermediate, you WILL get something out of it.

            Now off to tackle some Tea cups. ( Thanks Naima!)

Dancing Through Pain

When the shit hits the fan, that's when you realize what is real in your life and what is not. What you go to when you have real grief, ( not just day to day drama bullshit), what you turn to when you are in so much pain you feel like you could die. Those are the real things in your life.
    I am on a life dictated bellydance hiatus right now. What that means is that our life has been turned upside down and there is absolutely no room for workshops, shows, classes, etc. I do not want to put on a costume. The idea of any of that seems as out of place as Paula Deen in a Whole Foods market. I am packing up all of my glitzy stuff, all of my costumes. But I am keeping out my veils, my zils and of course my Ipod.
    I have done this before. There have been many times I packed up the stuff thinking, I wonder when this will come back out again. Moving to a new town, having children, feeling lost in the dance, and needing a break all saw me bringing out the clear plastic bins labeled " dance stuff".  I would walk by it and say, hey, I haven't forgotten you are there....life is just in the way right now. Inevitably I did get a chance to dance in groups again, and the time I spent isolated, dancing for myself alone always left me feeling stronger.
   Finding cancer in my husband, plus more other garbage that is in some ways worse than that ( believe it or not) has re-adjusted our lives, thrown the lid off, turned everything upside down. The cancer is more than likely curable, it looks like he has a really good chance. The other stuff, I am not so sure. Honestly, I don't know how I am managing to breathe these days.
   But I will dance. Packing up my stuff, cutting ties to dancers, classes, workshops does not mean that I am not a dancer. The only prop I need is the music, the only costume, what I am wearing, and the only tool my body. I can't not dance. And right now,when I am feeling more pain than I could have ever imagined that I was capable of, I need dance more than ever.
      So I don't know when I will post again. The truth is, writing has always been extremely cathartic for me, and just because I won't be plugged into the dance community doesn't mean that I won't be exploring dance by myself. So I may post I may not. Either way you guys have been a great support group and please send me all the good wishes, prayers and whatnot you have that you can spare. I really really need them.

My-blog-e-trios

I know it was a stretch. Get it? Menage e ....oh never mind. The point is, I get around when it comes to blogs. I am polyamorous when it comes to the blogging world. I am doin' it with everyone.
  For instance, ever blog hop? I love to follow "blog trails". Hop on one site, see who they have in their blog roll, hop on another...etc. I have found some of my favorite blogs this way. You can start at bellydance and end up on blogs that feature Korean Elephant Finger Painting or some such anomaly.
    Inevitably when I list my resume.....published in Shimmy and Zaghareet!...been dancing for 13 yrs, working on several books, have a blog, I get the eye rolls, and the comment. Oh.... a blog.
I am like "What? Blogging is cool".
They are like" It is just a bunch of boring narcissistic rambling and back patting".
I usually say" Yeah, some are, but mostly you can learn anything about any subject from a variety of different perspectives".
That usually shuts them up.

But it is true. I follow blogs by fellow witches, Indian food cookers, Everything Armenian, Autism blogs, Astrology, and a few weird ones. Blogging ( if you have the patience to wade through the few truly bad ones out there), can be like strolling into a bookstore, and learning. I follow Gail Sheehy, in the book Passages perspective of learning which is " sometimes you have to know what you don't like before you can know what you do", which means I learn just as much from the perspectives that I don't agree with as much as the ones that I do. Some blogs royally piss me off. But I can respect their right to their opinion as much as I have my right to mine. And I am sure I do my fair share of pissing off as well.

    So I am gonna take this time to do some pimpage. Some exploitation of my favorites and new favorites.
I'd also like to say if you'd like to be on my blogroll and for some reason I am too dim to have followed your blog then please by all means send the link. I am always looking for a new blog, and I read the posts daily. I like our little blogging community and I hope it expands. We here in the blog world are a bit promiscuous.....nasty, but oh so nice.

My Blog "partners". Spreading the love one blog at a time, baby.  

1. I am so pissed off at myself for not catching this one earlier The Occidental Dancer....and she has been blogging since '09! Raqasa writes a fabulous well written blog about bellydance and bellydance related stuff, and she is FUNNY. Sometimes PEE your PANTS funny.( of course I favor that biting sarcasm dry type of humor). Luff it.

2. Tempest is my kinda gal. She writes heavy, intelligent stuff and usually delivers chewy bites of thinkin' girls mental food on her blog, Tempest's Teapot. After reading her posts, I usually feel like I have just eaten a large piece of cheesecake covered in chocolate sauce. I need to sit on the sofa and digest for a bit. 

3. Foxy Roxy at Shimmies, Sequins, and Slippers is like the head cheerleader in high school, not the snotty one, but the one that everyone liked. By that I mean that she is smart, unbelievably gorgeous, but at the same time so down to earth. I love that she is never afraid to say what she thinks but there is also an air of lightness to what she posts. Great blog. Read it.

4.Naima. Naima. Naima. Read Naima's Bellydance blog...... you never know what you are gonna get. Cats sitting in odd positions. Gorgeous handmade bedlah. Dazzling drum solos to arcade sounds. Her blog is like Mr.Toads wild ride. Hang on.

5.Kis at Kismetisms Emporium of the Old seems like the Martha Stewart of the bellydance blog world- she seems to have it together. Her blogs are witty, to the point and very streamlined. A good read.

6. You can tell that Princess Farhana is a writer, by what she writes and how well she writes it. Her blog is great, and right now she is running a wonderful series called The Thinking Gal's Guide to Bellydance Styles. I am eatin' it up.

7. I'll stop at 7 because I am highly superstitious and seven is lucky....Lilith Noor's Crumbs in the Costume Closet is a lot of fun. She has a sense of humor and I love seeing how she pulls together some hot looking costumes!

Now, don't be gettin' your panties all twisted up if I didn't list you....I read everyone's blog. Everyones. I just like the number 7, that's all.

Bellydance Baggage

I have been doing this De-Cluttering thing. After reading the amazing, life changing book Clutter Busting- Letting Go of What's Holding You Back I am slowly but surely transforming my life. I am not just being melodramatic. IT IS TRANSFORMING MY LIFE.

Anywho, in the book Mr. Palmer basically says that everything you own represents something to you. He urges you to take a good look at everything in your life and no bullshit, evaluate it. Is it you NOW? Is it who you WANTED to be? Is it who you THINK you are, as opposed to who you really are? We hold onto so much that keeps us mired in the past.
    Lord, this has been refreshing, and just what I needed. But curiously enough, as I got to my bellydance stuff, the feelings that came up weren't as uncomplicated as I thought they'd be. I just love ( as in, it literally feeds my heart) to dance. I love the sparkly things. I run my hands along my copper metalskin trumpet skirt, and my coral silk skirt from time to time, feeling the texture, smiling to myself. When I listen to Middle Eastern music I catch myself smiling. When I dance I truly feel free.

                          BUT
Unfortunately I have been in this long enough to have built up some "bellydance baggage".
   The clutter busting process isn't just about stuff. It is about freeing the mind as well. As I went through three laundry baskets full of paperwork from a few bad financial years, I had to let all that go, and say "this is in the past". When I donated 150 plus glass bottles from a failed herbal products venture, I had to ask myself first "why was I hanging onto this?" ( a reminder of "failure")...and second to let it go, recognizing that hey, it was not a failure, it just wasn't right for me. After several weeks of this my home is clear, and my mind clearer so. I am not only taking out the clutter, I am taking out the mental baggage. And now it is time to take out the trash, so to speak. Time to let go of the bellydance baggage.

     I have been hurt a lot by people associated with bellydance. I have used bellydance , at times, as a replacement for how I should feel about myself, as in, I have at times, placed it in the "unhealthy obsession" category. I have gotten completely attached to people in this dance, then had to leave them, leaving my heart feeling broken. I have been SO FRUSTRATED at the lack of real encouragement for each other in the dance community that there have been no less than 10 times that I seriously thought about selling all my stuff and never turning back. Bellydance has been like a good relationship. Even though all around it has been good, it has still been a relationship. Relationships have their ups and downs, no matter how "meant for each other" you are. Also, in relationships, the WORST thing you can do in hold grudges, hold onto hurt and keep the past pain at easy reach.You have to let go, you have to forgive, and you have to " love like you've never been hurt". If you don't let go, you stay stuck.

So here I go. I am bagging all of that up. I am walking it to the curb for the trash man. As I tie these bags I release it all, I forgive all, including myself. And hopefully, as I clear out my bellydance baggage I can gain back the purity that I have kept cluttered up for so long. I can renew my unbridled love for the dance, baggage free.
I'll let ya know how it goes.

Old Timers and Top Hats

We all have a right to feel exactly the way we want to. All over the place even, I'll bet, in your immediate line of vision right now are several things- articles, books, magazines, billboards, TV,telling you the way you SHOULD feel about any particular subject. In bellydance this is especially so.
    The day after traveling always finds me taking the easiest road for at least a day until I recooperate/get my bearings. Today that meant rolling out of bed, getting the kids to school, and spending the better part of two hours catching up on The Guilded Serpent articles. Lord, what an example of what I am talking about! Just go on there and you will find the old school-out of the seventies dancers telling you why bellydance today is a mere shadow of what it once was, you will find fusion people telling you why their dance is valid and anti-fusion people why it isn't. If you find an article/author you agree with, you can comment and hurrah right along with them, or if you find an opinion to be offensive to you, then, well, there is place for that, too.

     But here is the thing. We all have what we THINK. I have my own very distinct opinions about bellydance and what it should and shouldn't be. But do I act on that? NO. Do I treat others differently based on how they choose to intrepret this thing we call bellydance? Why would anyone do that? The Old Timers are so afraid that the dance they know and love will be lost forever to some chick wearing a tiny top hat and garter belts. The Fusion people get indignant and work hard to say that no matter what, what they are doing is every bit as valid as what the Old Timers are doing. Different but valid. The truth is, it doesn't really matter because for every ten chicks in tiny top hats dancing steampunk style there will be ten who resonate with the 25 minute formal set of the "olden days". And guess what, folks, there are ten more who resonate with neither who are out there creating yet another variation of bellydance that will manage to TRY to divide us yet again.
    So yes I have my opinions. Yes I teach my classes a certain way, and yes I see a lot that I think doesn't belong. But I still have and practice respect for those "other folks" ( we are all the "other folks", depends which side you are facing). When it comes to my opinion about other dance styles I TRY ( the operative word here is TRY) to either keep my mouth shut or tone it down a bit. I tell my students when I am  expressing an opinion, " Hey, this is just my opinion about this particular form. You might try it and love it, so don't hold too much stock in what is just an opinion".

      When it comes right down to it, dance, like any other art, WILL EVOLVE. It will. Don't try and stop it. Art that doesn't evolve, dies.
     The other constant is that myself, you, and others will have an opinion about it. I am not ashamed of my opinion. I am not all floaty-rainbows I love-everything-non-opinion, but I do try to keep in perspective that in this giant world full of millions of experiences/mindsets/different people, that my tiny brain is just a small part.

and for now, that tiny brain will never ever have a tiny top hat on it. ( ha ha I couldn't resist). :)